


To Live and Love

by gumiworm



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Childishness, Enemies to Friends, Gen, Just kids being kids, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2020-04-17
Packaged: 2020-09-28 08:27:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20422934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gumiworm/pseuds/gumiworm
Summary: After starting high skool, Dib is forced to spend more time around Zim. He still despises the Irken invader and wants nothing more than to see him fail. But, as time goes on, Dib finds that Zim isn't so bad after all. With advice and support from Gaz, Dib helps show Zim that there's more to life than conquering the entire universe.





	1. So It Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Currently working on rearranging some chapters! Chapter 2 is now three (3) chapters combined, and chapter 3 is sure to have similar treatment. I realized that my chapters were too short and if I continued like that, this fic would have a million chapters by the end of it. So, chapters which take place in the same setting and have the same point will be combined to be longer chapters. A logical decision, I know! Praise me!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A slight warning for vomit in this chapter, it's pretty mild though.

It was the first day of freshman year and things were already looking bleak for Dib. He barely knew anyone, and the few people he did know from middle skool didn’t think too kindly of him. Gaz was still stuck at the middle skool which was across town and too far away for Dib’s liking. It was weird not sitting with her on the bus or talking in the halls between classes.

It was lonely.

It didn’t help that Zim was in every single one of his classes with him. He had a working theory that Zim had planned it out that way so he could keep one of his weird, buggy eyes on him. Though, some good did come out of the alien invader being there; it gave Dib some comfort in knowing that not everything had changed.

Lunch didn’t come soon enough in Dib’s opinion. He headed to the cafeteria with some unjustified urgency in his pace. He quickly got his portion of the suspicious slop they call food and looked for a place to sit. To his shock, every seat at every table was taken.

“How does that even happen?” Dib wondered out loud to himself.

He glanced over the tables once more, just to be sure that there really was nowhere for him to sit. It turns out, he was wrong. There was one table that was completely empty save for one person. Or would it be more appropriate to say alien?

Dib groaned and muttered something about his luck before begrudgingly walking to the table Zim sat at alone. He sat across from Zim and earned himself a confused look from the Irken.

“Dib-stink,” Zim muttered. Dib assumed this to be some kind of greeting. At least, Zim had acknowledged his presence.

“Zim-smelly,” Dib said mockingly, which seemed to irk Zim.

“Foolish dirt boy, you should feel honored to be in the presence of Zim!” Zim shouted across the table.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Dib pretended to apologize. “Zim-clean.”

“Oh! Thank you,” Zim seemed genuinely happy with the false compliment. It was Dib’s turn to be confused.

“Uh, you’re welcome?” Dib said, sounding unsure of the words. “Listen, don’t think I’m sitting here because I want to.”

“So you’re not here to witness my food-chewing?” Zim asked, seeming a bit disappointed. He quickly perked up.

“Oh well, your loss!” Zim shrugged before shoving a spoonful of slop into his mouth and immediately gagging. Dib broke out into unstifled laughter. Zim would have shouted at the boy if he weren’t busy dry heaving and scraping the remains of the human food off his worm-like tongue.

Zim shuddered when he was done. “It’s like eating a Noolgian’s cholcods.” Dib rolled his eyes.

“It can’t be that bad.” He scooped up a bit of his food and ate it. “It’s not the best, but when has skool food ever been anything but mediocre.” He pointed out.

“Disgusting Urthian,” Zim pushed his tray over to Dib. “Eat your revolting filth.”

“Oh, but I wouldn’t want you to go hungry.” Dib faked concern and slowly pushed the tray back towards Zim. “You need to eat if you want to get any taller.”

That was another thing that didn’t change: Zim’s height. He was still as small as the day he arrived on Urth. It wasn’t that noticeable back then but now it was hard to ignore.

“What do you know about being tall, Dib-beast!?” Zim stood and leaned over the table, staring Dib down.

“Well, I know that I’m taller than you by, what? A foot and a couple inches?” Dib tried his best to gauge their height difference. Zim made a noise that almost sounded like growling.

“You’re only tall because of your big head!” Zim was still leaning over the table, shouting right in Dib’s face. Dib’s brow furrowed.

“What about everyone else? Everyone in this cafeteria is taller than you.”

“You lie!” Zim screamed. Dib pushed Zim back, making him fall into his seat.

“Just eat your food, space boy.” Dib said before taking another bite of his own food.

Zim eyed the slop in front of him before poking it with his spoon. It jiggled slightly and he felt his squeedily spooch twist. Why did humans have to eat such vile things? He hesitantly scooped up some of the ‘food’.

“Will this really make Zim taller?” Zim asked, looking over at Dib. Dib almost spat out his food.

‘He believed that? Oh, this is too good.’

“Yeah, totally. You’ll be taller than me.” Dib lied, smiling. Zim seemed overjoyed at the idea.

“The tallest will be so impressed with my new tallness, they’ll let me fly the Massive or send me another Megadoomer or-” Zim stopped speaking his thoughts when he realized Dib was holding some sort a device towards him. “What is this primitive-looking machine?”

“Oh, nothing, just a tape recorder.” Dib stopped the recording and hid the device in his jacket pocket.

“Why would you record tape?” Zim asked.

“Don’t you have food to eat?” Dib moved his attention back to the task at hand.

“Ah, yes.” Zim shoved the spoon in his mouth once again, doing his best not to gag. It was hard, but he managed to get it down.

“Well?” Dib prompted.

“Now that’s good eating.” Zim forced a smile before continuing to eat the slop.

Dib did his best to keep himself from laughing as he watched the alien struggle to do something as simple as eating a meal. Zim was like a child who didn’t want to eat their greens. It was pathetic and hilarious.

By the time Zim had finished his meal, he felt exhausted. It was truly an endeavor on his part to eat all of that disgusting Urth food, but it would all be worth it once he was tall. Zim let his head fall on the table. Dib looked over at him and smiled. He wouldn’t admit it but he was impressed by the alien’s dedication. He ate every bit of the slop on his tray and only complained a few times between bites.

The bell rang and Dib left the table without a farewell. Not like one was needed; they had the next class together. Meanwhile, Zim lingered for a while at the table, head still down. His super organ was not happy with his decisions and it was making sure he knew about it. He clutched his stomach as he stood up.

“Hey, little man, you all good?” A janitor asked as he made his rounds around the cafeteria.

Zim answered by throwing up onto the ground, much to the dismay of the janitor.

“Aw, man, c’mon. You couldn’t have done that in a trash can or something?”

“Quiet, janitorial drone!” Zim shouted. “Zim must focus on becoming taller!” He walked away and left the cafeteria, but not before vomiting onto the ground again.

“Jeez, man.” The janitor whined to himself.

It was only halfway through class that Dib noticed Zim’s absence. He wondered about where the Irken could be and what he could be up to. Those wonderings only grew when Dib didn’t see Zim for their last class or on the way out of skool.

‘Maybe he went home?’ Dib thought to himself. ‘He’s done so before, why would today be any different?’

And so, Dib didn’t think much of it. If Zim had something planned, he would deal with it. But for now, everything was normal.


	2. An Unexpected Guest

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim shows up to Dib's house unexpectedly and is invited to stay for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mention of vivisection but nothing that hasn't been said in the show or something similar to it.

Dib got off the bus at the end of his street and walked home from there. He hadn’t had time to appreciate it since he had been trapped inside all day, but it was a nice day out. Maybe he could use the nice weather to his advantage and spy on Zim? No, he’d rather stay home today. Especially since it was one of those rare days when his dad was around. His dad always made sure to take time off work on the first day of skool; it was like a family tradition at this point.

He skipped up the couple of steps to the patio and opened the front door. He left his backpack by the front door and walked through the foyer to the living room. Gaz had gotten home before Dib so she was taking full advantage of the t.v. Dib didn’t really mind; Mysterious Mysteries didn’t come on until 8PM. He watched as Gaz blasted through a level of one of her many video games. She played so many, he had a hard time keeping track of which one was which.

Dib glanced around, looking into the kitchen from where he stood. He then leaned over the couch to talk to Gaz.

“Hey, where’s dad?” He asked.

“Downstairs, in the lab.” Gaz answered in a bored tone, not bothering to look away from her game.

“I thought he wasn’t working today.”

“He’s not, he’s just messing around with Foodio or something.” Gaz then turned to look at her brother. “Hey, why don’t you go bother dad, since you have so many questions about what he’s doing? You’re getting on my nerves.” She grumbled.

Dib knew better than to keep bothering her. And, he didn’t really need anything from his dad; he just wanted to be sure he was home.

He left Gaz alone and went upstairs to his room. He still needed to transcribe the audio recording he got today. Maybe he could talk to the Swollen Eyeball about it?

The doorbell rang a few minutes after Dib went to his room. Gaz groaned from her place on the couch. She was in the middle of fighting one of the hardest bosses in the game; there was no way she was getting up to answer the stupid door.

“Dad!” She shouted, hoping that her father would hear her over whatever he was doing downstairs. Membrane was upstairs in an instant, standing in the threshold that connected the living room and kitchen.

“Daughter!” Membrane said loudly with arms akimbo. “What seems to be troubling you?”

“Someone’s at the door.” Gaz answered, quickly pointing behind herself and towards the front door. The doorbell rang again, adding unneeded truth to Gaz’s answer.

“Ah, so it seems.” Membrane walked to the front door and opened it. “Hello, green child.”

“Oh,” Zim was surprised to be greeted by Dib’s parental unit. “Hello, Dib-father.” Membrane chuckled at the silly name he had been given by this strange-looking child. 

“I see, you must be one of Dib’s friends. Please, come in! Make yourself at home.” Membrane gestured for Zim to come in, moving to the side so he could walk through.

“Uh, Zim just wanted to know if the Dib was home.”

“Of course, you’re here to see my son!” Membrane looked to Gaz. “Sweetie, is your brother home?”

“Hold on, let me check.” Gaz said before shouting, “Dib!”

“What?” Dib shouted back from upstairs.

“Yeah, he’s still here.” Gaz answered.

“Wonderful.” Membrane returned his attention to the small, green child. “Why don’t you stay for dinner? I’m sure my son would love to have you.”

“Uh,” Zim wasn’t sure how to talk to this Dib-father. He was very tall and was kindly demanding him to do things. How could he refuse? But he was human! The mighty Zim would never bend to the will of a human, no matter how tall!

“Zim!” Dib shouted and pointed at the Irken. He had come downstairs to find out why Gaz had called his name. He now assumed it had something to do with Zim standing on their doorstep.

“Son, I’ve just had the pleasure of meeting your little friend here.” Membrane pulled Zim inside so that Dib could better see his ‘friend’. 

“He’s not my friend!” Dib cried.

“My apologies, your best friend.” Membrane corrected.

“Dad!” 

“Now, son, I’ve already gone through the trouble of inviting him to stay for dinner. So try to make our guest feel welcomed in our home.” Membrane closed the door and began walking back towards the kitchen as he spoke.

“You did what!?” Dib couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“Oh, I knew you’d be happy about it.” Membrane ruffled his son’s hair. “I have some stuff to finish up in the lab, but I’ll be back up for dinner. Don’t have too much fun now!” Membrane chuckled to himself as he walked away.

Dib and Zim stood together in the foyer, both in a state of disbelief and shock. It wasn’t but a few moments later before the two of them were freaking out and screaming. Dib was doing so because his enemy had just been formally invited into his home by his well-intentioned, oblivious father. Zim was doing so because he believed he had been trapped inside of his enemy’s house by a tall human beast. 

“Can you two shut up?” Gaz shouted from the couch. “I’m trying to focus.” 

“Gaz, do you not realize that there’s an alien in our house?” Dib cried, pointing at Zim despite the fact that Gaz wasn’t looking at them. 

“Dib, I don’t care that your weirdo friend is here. Just shut up.” Gaz growled.

“For the last time, he’s not my friend!” Dib groaned before turning to Zim. “Why are you here anyways?”

“Zim wanted to give you a gift!” Zim said as his PAK lit up and held a perfectly wrapped present out to Dib.

“Um,” Dib looked at the gift with extreme suspicion. “Why?”

“To thank you for your advice on becoming taller.” Zim stood with his hands behind his back and his head held high. He was obviously very proud of whatever was in the box.  
“Consider it a token of my appropriation.”

“Appreciation.” Dib corrected before continuing. “Thanks but no thanks.”

“Huh?” Zim seemed to fall from his high horse.

“I appreciate the gesture and all, but I don’t want your gift, Zim.”

“But you must take it, Zim worked on it all afternoon!” Zim’s PAK leg pushed the present into Dib’s chest.

“Geez, okay, I’ll take it!” Dib said quickly, not wanting to upset the Irken any further and get a mechanical spider leg through the ribs. “What is it anyway?”

“Unwrap it and you’ll find out, you filthy monkey.” Zim insulted, crossing his arms. 

Dib hesitated. What if it was a bomb or something? No, Zim wouldn’t be standing right next to him if that was the case. Ugh, the curiosity was killing him but he was also worried about what could be inside that neatly wrapped box topped with a complicated bow.

He cautiously unwrapped the box and slowly opened it, face turned away in case something jumped out. To his surprise, nothing attacked him or blew up in his hands. He looked into the box to find…

“A cake?” Dib questioned.

“Yes.” Zim hissed with a smirk.

“Uh, thanks, I guess?” Dib began walking to the kitchen, much to the confusion of Zim.

“Why aren’t you eating it? Doesn’t it look deliciouuus?” Zim asked as he followed Dib, dragging out the last word.

“Sure, but I’m not about to eat something my mortal enemy made.” Dib answered as he dropped the cake into the trash. Zim’s face dropped and he dramatically fell to his knees.

“Why?!” Zim cried out.

“Wow, okay.” Dib said.

“Why?!” Zim repeated.

“Are y-”

“Why?!”

“Are you done?”

“Yeah.” Zim stood up and it was like nothing had even happened.

“Well, since I’m stuck with you for the next couple of hours, why don’t we do something?”

“Ooh, how about I surgically remove your organs and reprogram your brain to listen to my every command?” Zim suggested with a giddy look. Dib felt a bit horrified by the statement but he decided to play along.

“Hmm, I don’t know. I was thinking I could vivisect you in front of a live audience.”

“Erm, no, I like my idea better. Yours is boring and doesn’t sound fun for Zim.” 

“Well, your idea doesn’t sound fun for me so I guess we’ll have to find something else to do.” Dib leaned against the counter as he spoke. Zim thought for a moment.

“Humans play video games, yes?” Zim asked.

“Irkens play video games?” Dib answered with a question of his own.

“Irkens play video games?” Gaz repeated the question as she walked into the kitchen.

“Oh, hey, weren’t you playing your game?” Dib asked his sister.

“I just beat it for the seventh time.” Gaz walked to the fridge and opened it. “Did you drink the last soda again?”

“Uh, no.” Dib lied, not wanting to be at the receiving end of his sister’s wrath. “Anyways, we should all play a game together. Maybe it’ll be fun?” He shrugged.

“What makes you think I want to play with you two?” Gaz asked, glaring at them without even opening her eyes.

“Is the Dib-sister afraid to face the mighty Zim in virtual combat?” Zim sneered as he placed his hands on his hips.

“As if.” Gaz scowled.

“Are you sure? Because it seems like you’re afraid to be destroyed by my amazing Irken might!” Zim boasted, his inflated ego getting the better of him.

“That’s it.” Gaz clenched her fists and Dib was worried she was going to fight Zim. “I challenge you to a one-on-one fight in Vampire Piggy Hunter: Arena. Winner gets bragging rights.”

“Hmm, and the loser has to be the winner’s slave for eternity!” Zim added.

“A day.” Gaz said.

“Deal.” Zim agreed.

“What just happened?” Dib asked after the exchange was over. He didn’t get an answer though. Gaz and Zim had rushed to the living room to begin their epic virtual battle.

Dib watched in amazement from the couch as his sister single-handedly destroyed an alien invader from the most powerful empire in the known universe in Vampire Piggy Hunter: Arena.

“You suck at this.” Gaz pointed out as she cut Zim’s character down with a glowing sword.

“Inferior Urthian technology!” Zim screeched as he struggled with the controller.

“Cry all you want, it won’t make you any better at this.” Gaz laughed as she went through a final combo, winning the match.

“This can’t be!” Zim cried. “Zim demands a rematch.”

“Like you’d ever beat me.” Gaz smirked. “Besides, I won, fair and square. Now, stop being such a baby and shut up.” 

“Me, the best Irken invader, beaten in combat by a small, Urthian beast!” Zim whined, falling to the floor.

“Whatever. Come over on Saturday; that’s the day you’ll be my slave or something.” Gaz stood up and walked off.

“Wow, you just got demolished by my little sister.” Dib commented, looking down at Zim who was now laying with his face buried into the carpet. Zim screamed into the soft floor for a while.

It took about half an hour for Zim to come out of his mopey state. Dib, in the meantime, watched some kind of documentary on the history channel. The narrator droned on about how aliens helped build the pyramids and taught the Egyptians about futuristic technology. Dib may be a paranormal fanatic, but at least he had the common sense to know this wasn’t true. But there was nothing better on t.v. at this hour, and he had to keep an eye on his unwanted guest.

When Zim finally got over himself and sat up, he stared at the television for a moment. Dib wondered if something on-screen had caught his interest or if he was just trying to figure out what Dib was watching. 

“Such useless-looking structures.” Zim commented when footage of the pyramids popped up. “What’s the point?”

“They’re supposed to be tombs for the pharaohs, if I remember correctly.” Dib answered, trying to remember information from his sixth-grade history textbook.

“Pharaohs?” Zim questioned.

“They were like kings.” Dib explained, but Zim still seemed confused. “Like your leaders, the tallest or whatever you call them.”

“Oh!” Zim finally understood. “The humans have tallest too?”

“Kinda? We have all kinds of different political leaders. Here, we have the president, but, let’s say in England, they have the queen. Basically, not one person rules the entire Urth.” 

“Well, that’s stupid.” Zim crossed his arms.

“Yeah, and why’s that?” Dib asked as he instinctively reached for his tape recorder only to find his pocket empty. 

“Having too many leaders is asking for trouble. What happens if they disagree?” Zim asked.

“I don’t know.” Dib shrugged. “They’d probably start a war or something.”

“Exactly.” Zim said. “It’s impractical and makes everything more complicated than it needs to be. If one person is in charge, then there’s no one to disagree with them and start a war.”

“Well- wait, don’t you have two leaders?” Dib suddenly remembered the time he had spoken with Zim’s Tallest. Well, they didn’t actually speak to him, he just kinda screamed questions at them.

“Yes.” Zim answered plainly.

“So what if they disagreed?” Dib prompted.

“They wouldn’t.” Zim said matter of factly. 

“What? How can you be so sure about that?”

“Because the Control Brains would never let them disagree on something and start a war with one another. The Almighty Tallest have better things to do than bicker like smeets.”

“Who are the Control Brains?”

“Stupid Dib,” Zim insulted as if Dib should already know all of this. “The Control Brains are the brains that control.”

“Well, that explains everything, thank you.” Dib said sarcastically.

“Zim’s glad you understand now.” Zim seemed pleased with himself. Dib sighed.

“What do the Control Brains do?” Dib asked, trying to make his question clear. 

“What does the Dib not understand? They control.”

“Yeah, but how?”

“Through our PAKs.” Zim stood up and turned around so Dib could see the glowing device attached to his back.

“Wait, hold on.” Dib had so many questions about how all of this worked, he was having a hard time organizing them in his big head. “So the Control Brains control you through that? Like, they move your body around and stuff?”

“No, that’s dumb. The Control Brains don’t have time to think about when every Irken is going to take their next step.”

“Okay then what do they control?”

“Our thoughts, memories, knowledge; brain stuff.”

“So you’re being mind-controlled?” Dib asked with a bit of amazement.

“Pffft, no!” Zim laughed.

“But if they control what you think then they technically control what you do, right?”

“I guess?” 

“Then you’re being mind-controlled!”

“Why does it matter? Zim is productive, just like every other Irken!” 

“But you don’t have free will or thought!”

“Sure I do. I think you’re ugly and,” Zim punched Dib in the face. “I want to punch your stupid face!”

“Ow,” Dib rubbed his nose gingerly and readjusted his glasses. “That hurt!”

“It’s supposed to, foolish monk-AH!” Zim screamed as Dib leapt at him, tackling him to the ground. Dib sat on Zim’s chest and held his arms down.

“Release Zim, you disgusting dirt child!” Zim shouted.

“No way, alien scum. I’ve had enough of your Tallest and Control Brains and, most of all, you! I’m gonna take your stupid PAK off so you can’t think about invading or destroying Urth ever again.” Dib explained while he glared down at the Irken beneath him. Zim’s eyes widened at the mention of removing his PAK and it seemed to spark something in him.

Four spider-like appendages emerged from Zim’s PAK and pushed him upwards, knocking Dib off of him. Zim stayed suspended by his PAK’s legs, glaring down at Dib.

“I’d like to see you try, Dib-human.” Zim said before stabbing a leg at Dib. Dib barely dodged the sharp, metal appendage. The leg pierced the carpet and dug itself an inch into the floorboards. It was easily removed as Zim began chasing Dib around the living room. Dib clambered over the couch to make a quick getaway but Zim easily stepped over it.

As terrifying as this situation was, Dib wished he had his camera on him. Who could deny proof like this?

Dib made a mad dash for the staircase, hoping to get up to his room. But Zim was quick and agile with his PAK legs. Zim climbed up with walls and ceiling before dropping down at the foot of the staircase, stopping Dib from going any further. 

“Where are you running off to, little Dib?” Zim smirked. He was obviously enjoying this. “You should see your face right now. You look as pathetic and terrified as a newly hatched smeet!” Zim cackled.

‘This is bad.’ Dib thought to himself. He needed to figure out a way out of this. Or he could just do what any scared child would do.

“Dad!” Dib shouted.

“Can you shut up?” Gaz yelled from the top of the stairs.

“Gaz, be careful!” Dib warned, worried about what Zim might do.

“Of what? Falling down the stairs?” Gaz asked rhetorically.

“No, little Gaz, of Zim!” Zim shouted, turning to face her. Gaz’s brow furrowed and she walked away only to return a moment later. She now held a book in her hands and threw it at Zim, making the Irken fall back.

“AH!” Zim cried, as his PAK legs retracted, dropping him to the floor. “Wounded once again by the Dib-sister!”

“Thanks, Gaz!” Dib said, smiling up at his sister.

“Whatever,” Gaz replied.

“Son!” Membrane said loudly, standing at the end of the hallway. “What seems to be troubling you?”

“Dad!” Dib was relieved to see his father. “Zim’s an alien, you gotta believe me! I can prove it!” 

“Now, son.” Membrane said as he walked towards Dib. “That’s no way to speak of our guest.” 

“But-” Dib started but Membrane cut him off.

“But, but, but! No buts.” Membrane said before turning to Zim who was now standing up from the floor. “You’ll have to excuse my boy child. I’m sure you know, with you two being frie-”

“Dad!” Dib interrupted.

“Sorry, ‘best’ friends.” Membrane corrected for the second time. “You know that he believes in all kinds of craaazy stuff!” 

“Oh, absolutely.” Zim said. “He’s crazy!” Membrane chuckled.

“Hey!” Dib shouted.

“Well, I’m glad we can all get a good laugh out of this.” Membrane stood up straight.

“No one laughed but you.” Dib pointed out but went ignored.

“Now, how about some dinner?” Membrane suggested.

“Yeah, okay.” Dib said in a sad sounding voice.

It was weird sitting across from Zim at the dinner table. It was one thing to share a table with him at school, but this was Dib’s home. Alien soldiers from across the universe shouldn’t be able to just walk in and share a meal with him and his family.

Dib stared Zim down while Foodio vaporized food onto everyone’s plates. Tonight’s meal seemed to be chicken and rice.

“Please, enjoy your meal, Membrane family and unidentified guest! What is love and why can’t I feel it?” Foodio chimed when he was done, rolling over to Zim to ask his question.

“Away, food service drone!” Zim said, pushing Foodio away. Foodio promptly rolled away to his designated charging corner.

“He has a name you know.” Dib said from across the table.

“Zim does not care; why would I need to know its name? The food service drone has done its job, and now it should be quiet.” Zim replied while he played with his utensils. “Why do you have so many kinds of these silly things?” He asked, picking up his spoon.

“They have different purposes, y’know?” Dib said.

“Then make one that fills all those purposes.” Zim pointed his spoon at Dib.

“What a brilliant idea!” Membrane chimed in.

“Thank you, Zim is full of many brilliant ideas.” Zim wouldn’t admit it but he was happy to be praised by the tall human beast. Oh, if only his tallest would do the same.

“Yeah, ‘brilliant’.” Dib mocked. Zim narrowed his gaze at the boy.

“So, Zim, is it?” Membrane asked, trying to start a conversation in hopes of getting to know his son’s strange, little friend.

“Yes,” Zim hissed. “I am Zim!” 

“You and my son have known each other for a long time now, if I understand correctly.”

“One year, eleven months, twenty-three days,” Dib chimed in before looking down at the watch on his wrist. “Seventeen hours, forty-six minutes, and fifty-two seconds.”  
This pinpoint accuracy in timekeeping earned Dib a look of shock and disbelief from around the table. There was a moment of silence between everyone.

“Forty-seven minutes.” Dib muttered awkwardly.

“As I was saying,” Membrane continued. “I’m glad to know that my son has someone to be around. Especially now that you’re in high skool! I know just how horrible some of those kids can be.” Membrane's voice suddenly turned a bit dark and his brow furrowed. “Trust me, I know.”

“Vile creatures!” Zim added. Membrane chuckled and returned to his upbeat tone.

“Yes, and that’s why I’m so pleased to know my son has a friend like you. And such a bright, young, green child you are!” Membrane praised.

“Zim appreciates your flattery, Dib-father.” Zim said, obviously enjoying the compliments despite the fact they were undeserved. “Continue this!” He commanded.

“This is just getting weird.” Dib mumbled to himself. Zim looked at him as if he had heard him. Had he?

“Is something wrong with the Dib? You’ve barely touched your human sustenance.” Zim pointed out, feigning concern.

“No, I’m just a slow eater.” Dib answered. “What about you?; you haven’t even touched your plate, Zim.” 

“Oh, I’m not very hungry is all. I had a big lunch.” Zim seemed to growl the last word. Dib quickly caught on.

“It must have tasted good if you ate that much.”

“It was delicious.” Zim lied, snarling.

“I’m glad to hear that.” Dib said in a fake pleasant voice.

“You’re welcome.” Zim said with a small smile.

“What?” Dib’s face was suddenly painted with confusion.

“Can you two shut up? I can’t enjoy my food when I hear your voices.” Gaz said from her end of the table.

“Now, sweetie, that’s no way to speak to your brother and his guest.” Membrane gently scolded.

“Yes, dad.” Gaz grumbled before continuing to eat.

“Won’t you apologize, little Gaz?” Zim asked with a smirk.

“Don’t push your luck, Zim.” Gaz snapped quietly, squeezing her fork until it bent out of shape. Foodio quickly replaced it.

It was then that a brief silence fell over the table.

Zim played with his food, not having any intentions on eating any more human food today. That was the whole reason he had come over in the first place. That cake was his revenge, and the Dib just threw it in the trash! That human beast! Zim would have to think of something else, something more clever. He couldn’t let the Dib off easily for this act of deceit, especially since it involved his height.

‘Oh, that Dib! Thinking he’s so high and mighty because he grew a bit. Who cares if you’re tall if you’re still stupid! That horrible, big-headed nui-’ Zim’s thought was cut short when he caught Dib staring at him. He stared back.

Suddenly, there came a beeping sound. Zim glanced around curiously, wondering if it was some sort of alarm or bomb. Dib looked to his father, recognizing the sound instantly.

Membrane was looking down at his pager, reading the message that ran over the tiny screen. He knit his brow before looking up.

“Something seems to have come up at the lab.” He started. “I’m sorry to have to cut this short, children, but I have to go deal with this. It was a pleasure to finally meet you, Zim.” Membrane held his hand out to the green boy. Zim looked at the gloved limb with confusion.

‘Does he want something?’ Zim thought. ‘But what? Zim does not have anything!’ Zim glanced around himself before landing his gaze on his untouched bowl of food. ‘Of course! The tallest one wants food.’ Zim took the bowl and carefully placed it in Membrane’s hand as if it were an offering to a god.

Membrane looked down at the bowl of chicken and rice before bursting into laughter.

‘Oh no! That disgusting human sustenance was not good enough. He’s laughing at how pathetic it is. Surely, this tallest human beast looks down on me now. How could he not?’ Zim’s thoughts cried.

“What an interesting way to shake someone’s hand.” Membrane finally said, still chuckling a bit. “I like it!”

“You do?” Zim asked, relief washing over him.

“Yes! Why shake hands when you can share your meal? Ah, I think we just solved world peace ‘and’ world hunger.” Membrane said thoughtfully before walking away, the bowl still in his hand.

“What the hell just happened?” Dib asked.

“Zim doesn’t know what a handshake is so he gave dad his bowl of food as some kind of peace offering or whatever and dad figured out his next campaign slogan because of it.” Gaz summarized. “So, basically, Zim and dad are friends now or something like that.”

“Nooo!” Dib cried. Zim cackled.

“Yes, scream, you pathetic worm baby! The tallest one is on Zim’s side now! No longer will he protect you!” Zim shouted, standing up on his chair.

“Wait, what? No, that’s not how that works.” Dib said.

“Yes, it is!” Zim snapped.

“No, it’s not. He’s still our dad. Just cause he likes you, doesn’t mean he’ll listen to your every command or bend to your will or whatever evil crap you’re planning to do with him.” Dib explained.

“Wait, really?” Zim asked.

“Yeah, I’m telling you, that’s not how that works.”

“Huh,” Zim seemed disappointed. “Oh well, I’ll just have to figure something else out then.” He jumped down from the chair and onto the ground. “Zim has better things to do than sit in your smelly house all night, Dib-beast!”

“So you’re leaving?” Dib asked.

“Yep,” Zim said as he climbed up onto the counter with the help of his PAK legs. He slid the window above the sink open before leaping out of it. “Adios!”

“He knows he could have just used the door, right?” Dib asked his sister.

“Probably not.” Gaz grumbled.


End file.
